Publish or Perish
Enter your name, then press Play to start a new game.
Choose your academic avatar
Each has different strengths. No numbers — you'll find out as you go.
Courses
Free time
Fight the bureaucracy
Press Start. Each round, only click the form that matches the colour in the banner — if a different colour appears, do not click.
Specification safari (satire)
Your supervisor wants “a clean table.” The treatment is a dud in the data-generating process — but nobody has to know yet. Each tweak lowers p a bit and raises Reviewer 2 skepticism. Get p < .05 before the eyebrow hits 100%, run out of specification budget, or bail out with an honest null. (Not real methods advice. Fun only.)
Sabbatical — field site (tropical)
Department-approved island-hopping fieldwork. The atoll scrolls past you. Jump (Space or tap) to clear the lagoon. On long sandbars, jump up for research grants (gold coins) — avoid the brown “networking drink” or your MH pays for it. Three splashes and HR considers the trip concluded.
Bike courier shift
You roll up the civic canyon on three lanes. ← / → (or A / D) switch lanes. ↑ / ↓ (or W / S) change pace: slower traffic pays less; faster pays more — and spawns traffic tighter. Dodge coloured cars and trucks. Election posters and protest scraps scroll past (no collision). Three crashes and the shift ends.
🎉 You left academia.
It was heaven all along.